Ah, Victorian homes. With their charming turrets, ornate trim, and the promise of antique wallpaper that looks like it was designed by a child who just discovered watercolors.
These historic beauties seem to be the dream of every person who’s ever fallen in love with old-timey aesthetics!
But before you get too swept up in visions of high ceilings and hardwood floors, let’s talk about the things they don’t tell you about Victorian homes.
Spoiler alert: it’s not all lace curtains and cozy fireplaces.
1. The Wallpaper is a Puzzle from Hell
You’ve seen those beautiful Victorian homes with walls adorned in layers of rich, intricate wallpaper, haven’t you? It’s all part of the dream. But what no one tells you is that removing the wallpaper is like peeling an onion.
Only, instead of crying over your failed attempts, you’ll end up crying because it took 20 hours to remove a single square foot of 120-year-old paper.
And when you peel it off? More wallpaper. Under the wallpaper? Yet another layer. It’s like an archeological dig—except you won’t find ancient treasures, just more wallpaper and regret.
2. The Plumbing is a Game of Russian Roulette
You might think that the ornate bathroom fixtures look quaint and charming, but the pipes under those shiny faucets are like a ticking time bomb.
Sure, the sink may still look like it’s straight out of a classic movie, but behind it? Rust. Leaks. Possibly a family of raccoons living in the walls.
And good luck figuring out the plumbing system, which may or may not be built entirely out of mystery materials that only existed during Queen Victoria’s reign.
You’ll be playing a thrilling game of “Is the water going to turn on today?” every time you step into the bathroom.
3. The Stairs? A Fitness Program in Disguise
Victorian homes are famously grand with their towering staircases. And by grand, we mean so high and steep that you’ll need a mountain-climbing certification just to reach the second floor.
If you think you’re buying a home, what you’re actually purchasing is a year-round stair-master experience.
Those grand staircases may look majestic, but they’re less about elegance and more about your daily workout regimen.
Want to avoid leg day at the gym? Just go upstairs. Want to get your steps in for the day? Enjoy the climb.
4. The Drafts Will Turn Your Home into a Wind Tunnel
With those towering ceilings and charming original windows comes a little something called “drafts.”
Victorian homes are known for their huge windows and intricate moldings, but the flip side of that is always needing a blanket, no matter the season.
These homes were built before central heating was a thing, and if you’re not careful, the chilly drafts will make you feel like you’re living inside a constantly moving wind machine. Bring a sweater. In every room. At all times.
5. You’ll Become a DIY Expert Whether You Like It or Not
The second you own a Victorian home, you will find yourself in a constant state of “fixing things.”
The windows need restoring. The floors are creaky. The pipes need re-piping. The roof is leaking. The foundation? Who knows!
You may have thought you were buying a home, but what you’ve actually acquired is a part-time job in home restoration.
And the best part? You’ll be elbow-deep in wood glue, caulk, and random bits of hardware, turning into a DIY expert, whether you have any interest in home improvement or not.
Enjoy it—you’ll have plenty of time to hone your skills as you attempt to restore everything to its former glory. Just don’t expect it to be finished anytime soon.